They say cracks are where the light comes in,
Forgetting that meant to see the sun, I had to first be broken,
Forgetting that the world will spin and my view will again darken
Forgetting the light I have within that only pain can dampen.
They say they’ll fill the cracks with gold
Claiming that gold will give me beauty, make me sparkle, make me glow
Claiming the cracks make me precious, give me value, that they refine.
Claiming they’ve given me a gift, promising that I will one day know.
They say so many things to deflect blame for their own comfort
Disregarding I had beauty before the cracks, no need to preen
Disregarding value I always held, these bonds of gold given for no
reason
Disregarding the light that shone from me, no cracks needed to be seen.
They say that passing time heals all,
Ignoring the need for healing means harm first had to happen
Ignoring that memories are scars that remain when healing’s done,
Ignoring dreams and plans and hopes for life, leaving only that which I
am trapped in.
They say that now I’m beautiful, I’m valuable, I’m strong
Saying that they didn’t break me, they just helped me see the sun
Saying that the cracks they made caused me no loss and being shattered
didn’t unmake me
Saying I am complete and whole, that bonds of gold meant that I had
won.
They say so many things to deflect blame for their own comfort
Denying parts of me were lost, since the breaking was begun
Denying that scars are often painful, keepsakes of each and every
breaking
Denying from behind the cracks, who I might have been is gone
They say what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger,
Believing that these cracks are why I am here existing,
Believing they gave me the will to survive, the armor needed for
survival and
Believing that being alive equates living.
They say so many things and yet I’ve never heard
Why they chose to break me so that I could see the sun
When they could have chosen instead to love me and been the sun that
lit my path or
Why they chose instead to shatter, to make me break and come undone.
They say so many things and yet I’ve never heard
Like “I was wrong” or “I am sorry” not once have they chosen to grow
They say instead that I’m ungrateful; that I’m ugly and unknowing
They believe that they define me, when they’ve got no cards to show.
So I say I am beautiful, that I am valuable, that I am strong
You see, despite your willful blindness, I have been all along.
Written by: Darlene Cunningham 5/13/2024
